Stuff White Men Say to Black Women


Here are some racist things that commenter Black&German and her friends have heard white men say to them as black women:

  • The best thing about black women is their asses. Is it true you like anal?
  • I prefer black women because white women are such prudes.
  • I like black women. Just not the ghetto ones.
  • Hey, you’re pretty! You look just like Halle Berry. (Or whatever famous black woman you can think of. They all look alike, right?)
  • You know you want it! Everybody knows black women can’t get enough.
  • What do you mean you don’t want to date me? You should be happy I even asked!
  • How about we get to know each other a little better? You know, go to my place. No? What if I pay you?
  • I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to do it with a black girl.
  • My friend over there just came back from [some overseas country] and he’s looking for some female company. You’re very pretty. How much?
  • I don’t usually like black women but you’re different. You’ve got class.
  • I heard your boyfriend is white. So, you like white dick? Want some of mine?
  • [If they refuse to go out with you, slam them against the wall and scream in their face.] You think you’re too good for me?
  • So, if black men have such big dicks doesn’t that mean black women… ?
  • Don’t go acting all uppity.
  • Oh, God. My dad would totally kill me if he knew I was talking to you.
  • You know, if I knocked you up our babies would look white.

Her remarks:

The last one (about babies) was actually after dating him for a few weeks, sitting in a nice restaurant. I nearly choked to death on my pasta. What the hell was he thinking? I didn’t stay to find out.

I’d heard that some white men think that black women are whores but I thought that just meant “easy”. I didn’t know that they assumed we were actually prostitutes. And that the “nice” looking ones are just expensive prostitutes. The first time I was propositioned I just stared like a deer in the headlights. I thought it was a bad joke, or something.

I once had a drunk guy in a bar stick ten dollars in my pants and ask me to dance for him. Umm… Sure, honey. Just let me find that pole I always carry with me…

I do have to say that the guy who slammed me against the wall was hyped up on something. Crystal, probably. That stuff makes people crazy. And horny. Baaaaaad combination.

Although I must admit I’ve had black men make some similarly – ahem – inappropriate comments, as well.

The most amazing thing is where some of these comments were made. Like in the hallway outside of a database management seminar or at the company Christmas party. Some men have no shame.

via Stuff white men say to black women | Abagond.


22 thoughts on “Stuff White Men Say to Black Women

  1. Let’s be fair here! I dated black women in college and graduate school and behaved as a gentleman at all times. I was beaten up twice by groups of black men who suddenly became protective of their black womenfolk. Threatening notes were left on my dormitory door by black students who resented the fact that I dated black girls. I learned through friends that some of these very guys dated white girls but apparently that was okay. This is usually called hypocrisy. How about asking white women about some of the crude, offensive things they hear from black men hitting on them?


    • Of course this website focuses on black women, but is it fair to just beat up on those impolite white men who have said crude, insensitive things to them? There are many decent, white guys who would like to date black women if given a chance. Moreover, what about addressing the issue of what ill-mannered black men say to black women?


      • Dude, you make a lot of sense. For some reason many black women will bop their heads to music where black men are dissing, denigrating, and abusing them mentally- emotionally and so forth. But will look at every white guy sideways for the racist ones.

        I have recently learned than many of my fellow sisters project insecurities onto white men that may be interested in them because of two reasons: They feel that they cant attract white men due to media puking out daily how much you guys only want white and asian chicks; and therefore they feel you must be playing games with them.

        Secondly, they feel some weird connection to a slavery they never experienced and blame the rape of black women by white men on to why white men of today want to rape black women if they ever show interest.

        Meanwhile, back at the ranch, black women are being raped left and right by black men and are also being treated and called the most absolute of horrid names by black men DAILY. But that is apparently a-ok.

        This is how you can tell the difference between black women like myself who have ALWAYS dated interracially and those who are just jumping on this new bandwagon but are DEFINITELY not ready. Black women are many things, but self loving is not always one of them. Before interracially dating, I would legit want to hold classes for black women that cater to not projecting their insecurities on to me AND realizing that dating should be fun and that while you can be apprehensive; this is a scary world after all, it also makes sense to be logical.

        Plus, these sistas are really messing up the success rates of black women and white men relationships/marriages. We really need more safe spaces for evolved black women- many are simply NOT READY to do something as simple as love a man who is not black and therefore need to come back if and when they are.


      • “….would legit want to hold classes for black women that cater to not projecting their insecurities on to me ”

        I meant to say “on to white men.”


      • White women are much more privileged than black women. They should talk about their bad expierience. People should listen to them. (im “white”)


  2. I/We are aware that there are decent White men in the world. No one has stated otherwise. Why do you insist on taking this so personal and therefore negating the topic at hand? This blog is focusing on racist things that some White men say to Black woman. Is it fair to “beat up” on White men who say insensitive things to Black women? I think so! They need to be called out! This is a teaching/learning moment. Also, look around the site a bit more, I’m sure you will find a blog or two that touches on Black men/Black women relationships. Also, if you read this blog to the end, you can see that she mentions Black men saying inappropriate things as well. Men in general can be ridiculous when dealing with women…regardless of color. This is a fairly new website, but various topics centered around Black women have been and will continue to be discussed here. Thanks for reading and commenting.


    • I thank you for your prompt and non-hostile response to my comment. I shall certainly look at other parts of the website. Yes, I am very sensitive about interracial relationships given my personal experiences over 40 years ago. Allow me to say the following: I am still good friends with one of my former black girlfriends. She credits me with having introduced her to Essence magazine when I gave her its inaugural issue. Another black girlfriend of mine and I were at the movies and I went to get popcorn and soda for us. An older black lady went up to her scolding her viciously for being with a white man. My girlfriend was so upset that we had to leave the theater and go home. Do you think that this woman went up to black men with white girls and berated them? I think not. I admit to being a unique white guy who has always taken the road less traveled. I believe that one of the most beautiful women to have ever walked this earth was the late model and author, Naomi Sims. I am a senior citizen now, but it still saddens me seeing young black men chase after a mindless Kardashian knowing that these guys would probably be less impressed with a Naomi Sims who had beauty, brains and decorum.


      • You are very observant, this is a great quality. Many black women themselves would deny what you have said up here and I honestly do not get why.

        “An older black lady went up to her scolding her viciously for being with a white man. My girlfriend was so upset that we had to leave the theater and go home. Do you think that this woman went up to black men with white girls and berated them?”

        And we all know the answer to that question, don’t we?


    • Wow! You are really spoiling me with your prompt responses!!! Again, I harbor a lot of resentment over the fact that I could not date black women in peace without harassment and being beaten up – twice!!! I think people should date and marry whomever they want. It is hypocrisy that troubles me most. Black guys wanting to pursue white and light-skinned Hispanic women with impunity, but all of a sudden getting protective of black women when the were out with white guys. Perhaps times have changed since I was single.


    • I wish you’d be more specific as to what you think has changed and what hasn’t. I recall so many times being out with a black girlfriend and having black guys shout “Oreo” at her. When I turned around and said, “Why don’t you leave her alone,” that was their pretext to begin fighting. I was in the Marines in Vietnam and could hold my own with one guy, but not with six. What I have always wondered is what could my girlfriend have called black guys out with white girls. Would the word “Oreo” fit for them?


  3. Oreo is offensive and no one should be called that. Interracial dating is more common now, but the acceptance or non acceptance of it varies greatly from region to region and country to country. Just as racism has changed over the years…it’s still very much alive.


    • I mentioned the use of the word “Oreo” to make the point that many a black guy might have used it as an insult when they saw a black woman with a white man back in my day, but I’ll bet they never used it when they saw a black man with a white woman. Again, I see that as hypocrisy. Let me tell you another story from own past revealing such hypocrisy. With one of my long-term black girlfriends [I had two], we attended a party that happened to be an all-black affair. There was one black dude who glared at me the whole evening. He clearly had trouble with the fact that this lovely young black lady was with a white guy. We were having a good time anyway. Then, one of his homies arrived with his white girlfriend and he was as friendly as could be with both of them. My girlfriend noticed this and had as much trouble with this as I did. She whispered to me, “Watch this!” She proceeded to sit on my lap and plant a big wet kiss right on my mouth. The black dude, who had trouble with me all night, almost went into cardiac arrest.


  4. I’m aware of why you used the term Oreo. People have hateful names for Black men who date White women as well. We live in a hateful, judgmental world. When dating interracially some people will stare, glare and make fun of you. It comes with the territory unfortunately and it’s something you have to learn to ignore so that you can enjoy your relationship. Thanks for the conversation. Have a great weekend.


    • You are quite a person! I am very impressed with you! I don’t think you are “dangerous” at all! I am so pleased that you have been receptive to hearing about my perspective on these issues. By the way, do you think that there are many young black women, let’s say, between the ages of 20 and 40, who know anything about Naomi Sims? They should, but do they?


    • I hope you are right about young black women knowing about Naomi Sims and not just those into fashion. Wow! You are quite an eclectic lady and a very pretty one at that! I live in south Florida seven months out of the year, but have a summer home in Michigan where I spend the other five months. I pass through Flint to and from the summer place. Another interesting commonality is that the former black girlfriend of mine that I still keep in contact with has recently retired from the CDC in Atlanta where she, like you, was actively involved in HIV-AIDS research-education-prevention.


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