10 Lies Black Women Tell Themselves

red lips By Doris Taylor

1. White women are stealing black men.

Trust me, no one is stealing them. It’s their choice to date outside of their race. And so what if they are? Love is love and it comes in all colors, shapes, and sizes. Sistas need to stop snarling at Caucasian women who choose to be with Black men. It’s 2010, and everyone should explore new things and consider the possibilities of finding love beyond the boundaries we set for ourselves. Instead of hating, maybe you should follow his example. Try something new, you may surprise yourself.

2. Straight hair is beautiful hair.

I agree, it can be. But your natural, kinky/curly locks are beautiful as well. I’ve seen an overwhelming number of Black women going against the grain and choosing to be natural. For those that have not crossed over yet, natural does not mean Buckwheat. There are so many wonderful styles you can achieve with your natural hair.

3. There are no good black men around.

I know it seems that way because the only ones that seem to be in your face are the crazy ones. But there are crazy men and women in all cultures. The good ones are the ones at work, at home, or out there doing good things. Get yourself involved in some positive activities and you will be surprised who you bump into.

4. Claiming to be mixed with another race makes me superior.

We’ve all heard this one “I have Indian in my family.” It’s great to acknowledge that you are made up of different cultures and to have love for them all, but nowadays, everyone is mixed with something. We are all made up of many things but I’ve seen some try to down play their African roots. Black is really beautiful, and the way it mixes with others makes it even more so. Celebrate it and elevate it.

bun5. I must be light-skinned to be considered beautiful.

Everything light is not always alright. Even today in 2010, some Black women are still on that whole color prejudice deal. I have three words for you, “Get Over It.” Black women are beautiful no matter what shade of brown we are. If you are blessed with sunkissed, chocolate skin, love it and take good care of it. Not many other cultures in the world have individuals as beautiful and unique as you. And if you happen to have a lighter completion, love yourself as well, but please don’t put down or ridicule our darker brothers and sisters.

6. I need to act and sound “white” to be accepted in corporate America.

First of all, there is really no such thing as acting or sounding White. Of course, most African Americans use it as a way to describe someone who speaks clear English, but not all Caucasians speak properly just as there are those in other cultures who adopt certain dialects. There is nothing wrong with being a polished version of yourself, but some people feel the need to change characters when they step into the work world. Who can keep up the act for 8 plus hours a day. Just be yourself.

7. Having a baby will keep him around.

If a man does not love you, he does not love you. It’s as simple as that. Having a baby by a man who is irresponsible will only make him run further way, and if he has any shred of decency he will be around for the child, not for you. Grow up.

8. It’s OK to be abused (verbally/physically) as long as I have a man.

I wouldn’t keep a snapping turtle too long if it bit me too many times, so why would any woman allow a man to physically/verbally beat her down just to say she has someone in her life. I know it’s been said before but let me say it again, it’s better to be alone than with someone who does not love you the way you deserve. Love yourself enough to leave, and fast.

9. Education does not matter, as long as I look like a video girl.

It’s sad that I even had to put this on the list, but while watching BET (Yea I should have known better) I heard something that disturbed me. I heard a female rapper actually admit that to her fans, she believed that it did not matter what she said as long as she looked good. And she was fine with that. What? I’m hoping that the little girls did not hear nor believe that ridiculous statement. It’s wonderful to want to be physically attractive, but if you’re an airhead, none of that even matters. Sure, you can get a job as a model if you’re beautiful, but you must also know how to navigate your way through the industry and once you’re past a certain age, it’s all over for you. Then what? Our young girls need positive role models who care both about presenting themselves well and feeding their brains. It is possible to do both.

10. I’m not valuable.

You are a queen. Did you need to be reminded? You were born to be great. Read your history if you’re not convinced.

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